Life-long ambitions, and music

Its been a few months since I have last blogged here. There is, alas, competition in the form of my other blog www.birthofastartup.com, which although perhaps less intimate and philosophical, does get more traffic and serves a more obvious purpose than this one. Nonetheless, I quite like the fact that no one probably reads this one anymore (please tell me if you do!), which affords me an ironic fusion of publicly stating something in a very private way.

I have been extraordinarily busy. What with working a full-time job, trying a launch my business (which is very close!), in the midst of starting a second one, trying to stay fit, see family, have a vague concept of a social life... well, sleep is definitely the thing that is suffering, but I figure I can catch up on sleep, and this is one time I really feel I am on the path to finally achieving some of those long-held ambitions.

All I have ever wanted, since I was a little girl, was to be an entrepreneur. And a writer. I have come to the conclusion that my artistic ambitions will be better served once I am sufficiently self-funded, so am dedicating my efforts to the former ambition initially. I thought I would have done it a lot sooner, but its so much harder than one can imagine, particularly if one aspires to achieve this goal in an honest, admirable, worthy pursuit. There are a lot of dodgy entrepreneurs who are filthy rich, but I know I would never be proud of myself unless I did it on my own, my way.

So, its quite exciting to be so close to finally launching my site - an innovative social decision-making tool. Its tremendously exciting. Its a life dream. How often can you say you have achieved a life-long ambition? There can't be too many life-long ambitions out there per person... I've achieved many of mine: to live an intense life in London, to dance in front of many people (next to Carl Cox in my cheerleader outfit at NYE 2000), to meet Christian Slater (long story... I think I described it in an earlier post here on this blog)... but yes, to be a self-made woman in a worthy venture is a big one. As is falling dramatically and wholly in mutual love with an artistic tall man with incredible integrity and wit... still waiting on that one unfortunately, so am focusing all my energies on the former.

I am made of tough fibre. I can bear the endless series of sleepless nights, sore shoulders and back, isolation, financial constraints (my business is self-funded), angst etc... I can bear it even knowing that there is no immediate end in sight. I have been working towards this opportunity my entire adult life, and I have had a life time of training in stubbornness, determination, and hard work, so its all being put to good practise now. Its all culminating in now.

Anyway, I'm blabbering. Exhaustion is seeping through my pores. I am so desperately glad tomorrow is a long weekend, and I am off frolicing with my best friends in a beautiful house in Kangaroo Valley. A whole 4 days of no work, lots of sleep, great company, fresh air. Oh glorious joy!

On another final side-note, I have become a fan of a brilliant Australian band The Basics. I found out about them after seeing a saucy burlesque/cabaret/circus Cirque du Soleil meets Moulin Rouge show called Feasting on Flesh, which I was inordinately moved by, because it so perfectly captured the spirit of what moves me ... that intoxicating blend of sensuality and carnality, food and music and shadows and suggestiveness and hilarity and cheekiness. And the star of the show was the musician who sang, played drums, and composed all the music. He had a stage name of Gotye, and I became immediately fascinated. I found out more about him, and then discovered he was also in a band called The Basics. One day, when I was feeling particularly buoyant, I came across a poster that said that The Basics were playing in a pub close to where I lived that weekend. I was breathless with excitement. And the reality met my expectations, which is rather extraordinary as I tend to have very high expectations. They - and their music - were fun, cheeky, entertaining, and rather dashing. I have become a fan, which is amusing because I am not traditionally a band kinda girl. But if the music and its performance inspire soul-elevation and back-shivers, one needn't pigeon-hole oneself out of such opportunities.

Anyway... to bed. Goodnight.